A Trip to the Movies

I should start by saying that J has a very active imagination. He is also a very good story-teller. I don't mean he is good at lying because he isn't. When he attempts to lie about anything important, there are lots of "uhhhs" and "well...." He is typically the first to tell on himself when he's done something wrong because he doesn't even like to lie (most of the time). However, when he is spinning a yarn, he is a master. Additionally, he has a new imaginary friend who is the topic of many of these tales lately. His friend's name is Jason Cross. Jason can see and hear through doors and walls. Jason, although only 5-years old, knows how to drive a car. Jason, when the situation calls for it, can become invisible.

This morning J and I were sitting in the car waiting for Doug to lock up the house (a process that sometimes takes quite a while as he is very particular in this routine). So, J starts telling me that he has seen Sandlot (one of his new favorite movies though the movie was released straight to DVD in 2007) in a theater. I told him he hadn't but the conversation proceeded like this:

J: Yes, I have! The movie was in 3D too - not like the DVD. I went one day when you thought I was in school.
Me: Really? How did you get there?
J: Jason Cross drove us. He can drive, you know?
Me: Yes, I remember. So, when did you go?
J: Well, the movie started at 6:30 in the morning so we had to leave early.
(Side note - J is just rolling out of bed at 6:30 each morning but I didn't point this out.)
Me: Where did you get money to go to the movies?
J: We had some dollars so we used that to buy 15 popcorn.
(Much later in the discussion it was revealed that this was not, in fact, 15 boxes of popcorn but just 15 kernels of popcorn.)
Me: Okay. That's a lot of popcorn.
J: Yeah. Anyway, then we used gift cards to pay and we used tickets to get into the movie. We had to use credit cards to leave the movie.
Me: Sounds like you really thought this out ahead of time. So, you have to pay to leave the movie as well?
J: Yeah.
Me: So, who all went to the movie?
J: Well, Jason Cross. Me, of course. (laughs) Okay, now I'm not making this up but one of my friends who went is named Timber.
Me: Okay. Timber. I don't know him.
J: No. And then Limetonian but we call him just "Tony."
(Again, later in the conversation, J said that his name was not Limetonian and that I made that up. He also said it was mean of me to make up a name to call someone. Okay!)
Me: Limetonian? That's an unusual name.
J: Yeah. That's why we call him Tony. And D.P. Oh! And Rocky went too.
Me: That was quite a crowd. Did you all go in one car?
J: Yes, but it was a special car.

This conversation continued but started to unravel a bit. I love that J has such a vivid imagination. I suspect with the characters he enjoys creating, he will enjoy writing one day. In the meantime, I'll record some of his characters and tales so I can embarrass him with them some day.

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

I was thinking recently about all the jobs I've had over the years. What do these actually qualify me to do in the real world? Have I found any sort of expertise in holding down these jobs? Am I a better (or worse) person for these experiences? I love to make lists so here is another that is interesting to me.

All the jobs I've had to this point in my life:

babysitter (in high school I did this Monday through Friday year round - during the school year from 3:30 to 6pm and in the summer from 7am to 8pm)
piano teacher
paid and unpaid church nursery worker
retail store associate, cashier, and customer service rep
waitress
bartender
on-air DJ & production for a crappy little FM station
Avon Lady
undergrad research assistant
graduate assistant
college adjunct instructor
housekeeper/personal chef
temp (administrative)
promotional sales rep
promotional sales coordinator/buyer
manager of consumer research
marketing research analyst
Creative Memories consultant
office manager
field supervisor
greeting card display merchandiser
content management specialist

And the most important jobs I've had (and make no mistake, sometimes they can be real work), wife and mother. Mostly I feel like I've been a Jack of All Trades and Master of None. I wonder what my next opportunity will hold for me.

Expectations

There are many times I don't feel like a very good mother. Sometimes there are many times in a day or hour when I feel this way. Occasionally it is something "big" while most of the time it is a collection of things that, on their own, seem so inconsequential but which continuously pile up in the corners of my mind.

Last night was J's t-ball game. It was our night to provide snacks for the team after the game. I completely forgot to check the team calendar and make note of this small fact. If I had thought of it even up to 30 minutes into the game, one of us could have run to the store to grab some snacks and drinks. However, it was 5 minutes before the end of the game when someone asked, "Who brought snacks?" Immediately I knew it was probably supposed to be us when no one said anything. I apologized and no one seemed to really care but, as is my way, I mentally beat myself up about it for hours after the fact.

After we got home and J was fed, bathed, and had a few stories read to him, he asked me to be an Explorer with him. After investigating the "woods" in his room and the "forest" in the living room, "camping out" under a blanket "tent," and killing a bear with a single well-placed shot from a Nerf gun, we settled down on the sofa to watch a little Frog and Toad before bed.
I was still upset with myself for forgetting the snacks even though I knew it really didn't matter much. J, on the other hand, had long forgotten my Mommy Faux Pas. Without any prompting, he crawled up next to me, put his arms around me, and said, "Mommy, you are the bestest Mommy anyone ever had in the whole world. I'm so glad to have you here with me always. I love you." And with that, he put his precious little head down on my chest.

If that isn't a way to snap anyone out of self pity mode, I don't know what would do it. I realized in that moment that what J needs from me isn't snacks at t-ball or new toys or trips to Disney World or any of the other things I want him to have but can't always give him. All he wants is my time, attention, and love. While I'm distracted and worrying, he thrives on a few minutes of make-believe, stories, and devotion.

I love my dear little one with all my heart. I love him more than I ever could have dreamed possible before he came into my world. I often feel that I'm not a good Mom... or maybe just not as good a Mom as I should be or want to be. However, some days I need to worry less about what I think I should be doing and just concentrate on what he really needs and wants from me. My expectations should be measured against his. If it is love he needs, I know he'll always have that in abundance.