I'm a failure

So many times while raising an overly-intelligent son, I feel like a failure. Recently my husband and I were both laid off from our jobs due to a failing company in a failing economy. We had to sit J down to have a talk with him about spending, saving, and selling the only home in which he has lived. This is never a conversation a parent wants to have with their child and I wasn't sure how much of it he really got. Apparently more than I thought.

Earlier this week, J received a Valentine's card from one of his grandmothers. He tore the card open and read every word (a new skill he enjoys showing off). When he saw a ten dollar bill in the card, he handed it to Doug and said, "I'm going to give this to you to help with bills." I got tears in my eyes. Big, alligator ones. Obviously we let him keep his "Target money" (a term we've applied to "mad" money as that is his favorite store).

Later in the week, J's teacher stopped Doug at drop-off to tell him of another kind gesture of generosity from our little man. Apparently Arthur (of kiddie-book fame) is visiting J's school. If the kids buy a book, they can meet Arthur. J informed the teacher that he wouldn't be able to buy a book because "we need to save our money for things like food." She said that he was very matter-of-fact when informing her of this and not at all upset by it. Again, water welling up here.

At first blush, I felt like such a failure. I feel some days like I am failing him by not providing him with everything his heart desires. Then I realized I haven't failed him at all. He has so much that he doesn't mind at all being generous with everything he has. He is being taught real life lessons - that life doesn't always follow the plans we set aside. Life isn't fair a great deal of the time. Hard work doesn't always pay off. However, we keep trying and we pull together as a family - all contributing what we can in whatever ways we can. That makes me feel like anything but a failure.

Parenting is anything but easy. There are so many times I feel like a failure but I know that J learns more from how I react to crisis than to what I view as the actual crisis. His view of us being laid off is that we are home with him every day. We can play with him in the afternoons. He doesn't have to attend before and after school care for the first time since he was nine weeks old. He thinks this is the greatest time we've ever had together. I like his take on things!