The Joys of Cleanliness

I've never been a great housekeeper though, in my younger days, before career and family, I kept a pretty good apartment. However, with the stresses of career, a child, a larger house, etc., it has just gotten to be more than I can keep a grasp on. So, we recently employed a housekeeper to come in once every other week for a few hours. I've thought about doing this several times before and could just never justify the expense in our already shoestring budget. However, as I walked into my newly cleaned house last night, I could kick myself for not doing it sooner.
Our house is now cleaner than it has been in years. It actually took my breath away when I walked in and saw how great it looked. She went above and beyond what I expected from "a few hours" and even left a note apologizing for "not finishing." I think I'm in love!
It was amazing to me what coming home to a clean house that I didn't have to clean myself did for my outlook last night. I was tired after a big weekend and a few days of work this week. My normal routine would be to go home and stress about the state of the house and try to get a few chores completed while watching J and then fall into bed too exhausted to sleep well. Instead, I cooked dinner in my sparkling kitchen, played with J for a few hours, then sat down on my clean sofa and watched television until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I went to bed and slept the sleep of the just, as my dad would say. It was pure bliss.
I know the house won't look as clean by this weekend (or maybe even tonight). There will be toys pulled out and left in the floor. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clean ones on the counter needing to be put away. However, just for last night, it was so nice to walk around the house and admire it, to appreciate the joy of cleanliness.

Happy Valentine's Day

So many people complain about the commercialization of this "holiday." With the Valentine's Day cards going up at Hallmark the day after Christmas, it is easy to agree with that sentiment. However, I don't think it is such a bad thing to set aside a day when we make extra efforts to tell those around us that we love them and cherish them. Whether spouse, child, parents, family, or friends, it's never a bad thing to be reminded to tell them just one more time that you love them.
In honor of Valentine's Day, I've listed some great quotes about love. The first poem was from our wedding. I still think there is a lot of truth to it now, having been with Doug for 15 years this month.

The Art of Marriage by Wilferd A. Peterson

A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.



Other great quotes about love:
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. -Saint-Exupery
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. -Agnes Repplier
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. -W. Somerset Maugham
The course of true love never did run smooth. -William Shakespeare
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron
Lord, grant that I might not seek to be loved as to love. -St. Francis of Assisi
They do not love that do not show their love. -William Shakespeare
"Pooh, if you lived to be one hundred and one days old," said Piglet; I want to live to be one hundred so I don't have to live one day without you." -A.A. Milne

In honor and in celebration of those I love. A heartfelt Happy Valentine's Day.

New Year’s Resolutions Update – End of January

Okay, here they are again along with the progress I’ve made (or not).

1. Start getting up earlier in the morning (ugh) to allow time for exercise and to make J a healthy breakfast. I was getting up earlier to exercise at least five days a week. I was making J’s breakfast every morning and, I’m proud to announce, he was no longer eating a Special K bar or Clifford organic cereal every single morning. (Now he eats those only when he actually wants them.) However, I’ve been sick for the last week and slipped, relying on Doug to take care of J’s breakfast and doing no exercise. I will get back into both of these habits this week despite still not feeling well.

2. Paint at least one room in my house (my bedroom, the guest bathroom, and/or the guest room/playroom) and hire someone to paint my kitchen. I took off work one day and painted the guest bathroom. It took longer than I thought (including a second coat that I put on in the middle of the night a few days after the first) but it is done and looks pretty great. Perhaps I’ll hire someone to do the rest though as it took a whole precious vacation day of which I don’t have many.

3. Make my front flowerbeds look presentable. Clearly been too cold but I do have high hopes for this one when it warms up a tad.

4. Lose some weight - any amount will do. No weight lost yet but I have been exercising. I am hoping that just means I’m putting on muscle and not just staying stagnant.

5. Spend more time with my friends. Game night, anyone? We’ve got lots of plans with friends already on the books for the next several months. This resolution is really just to continue that and be sure we don’t get lazy about seeing our friends. Sometimes it is easier to just stay home on that rare occasion that there is a free weekend, which is fine, as long as it doesn’t get to be a habit. I love to be alone but I hate to go months without seeing anyone also.

That was awful... or was it?

It is amazing how kids can change your outlook about a lot of things. I took J to see Alvin and the Chipmunks this weekend. It was truly awful, as I expected going into it. However, J has wanted to see this movie since he saw a preview for it about two months ago. Anytime he’d see a poster or an ad for it, he’d nearly burst with “I want to see that!” So, he paid his JBucks and off we went.

I found myself laughing at J laughing at the movie. Then I was actually following along with the movie and was a little annoyed when J said he needed to go to the potty for the second time since the movie started. We missed the singular plot twist in the movie, after all. I amazed myself at enjoying the movie because he was enjoying it so much. It is a wonderful feeling to realize that something you never thought you could enjoy becomes enjoyable by simply seeing it through the eyes of a child. This is one of the things I love most about being a mom.

JBucks

It seems like all who have children, and even some who don’t, are constantly willing to offer up their advice for parenting a child who is having trouble adjusting or exhibiting any sort of behavioral issues. I admit to taking a lot of this advice lately because I was at my wit’s end on how to deal with J’s hitting and angry outbursts. However, (knock on wood), it seems that a system of my own device has finally started to take hold of my little man.

We instituted a system of rewards and payments for good behavior and fun activities. I asked Doug to design money with J’s photo on it. Each of these JBucks can then be earned and spent. Each morning, there is the possibility of earning up to five JBucks based on good behavior. Each incident of trouble, back-talking, not minding, etc. will result in losing one JBuck. Teachers have also been given the authority to remove JBucks by leaving us a note in his daily folder. On the best day, at bedtime, he receives his five JBucks. On the worst day, he receives none. We have had days that fall everywhere on this scale. However, for the last few days, he has been doing great.

J loves his reward chart that lists everything he can “buy” with his JBucks – everything from one JBuck for an extra piece of candy or treat after dinner (since he thinks I am stingy for only allowing one) to fifteen JBucks for a trip to Chuck E. Cheese or a movie. He typically buys 30 minutes of video game time at three JBucks each though he has made one trip to Chuck E. Cheese and keeps talking about another.

I’ve decided that sometimes all of the books and websites and advice from others really is useless when it comes to your own child. You have to know your child’s motivations and desires to decide what is right for you and only you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this continues to work and J will continue to thrive.