21 December 2007

Another take on Me from A to Z

I found this list while searching for an adjective starting with X. I thought it was interesting so thought I'd include it here as well.

A is for Age: 36

B is for Beer of choice: Gordon Biersch Dunkles

C is for Career: Content Management Specialist for a packaging supply company

D is for favorite Drink: Caffeine Free Diet Coke

E is for Essential item I use everyday: lip balm

F is for Favorite song at the moment: Since it’s Christmas time, I’ll list my favorite Christmas song – O Holy Night

G is for favorite Game: Monopoly or Scrabble

H is for Hometown: born in Birmingham, AL and raised in Mobile, AL but neither feels like home now since my parents don't live in either

I is for Instruments I play: None currently but I used to be proficient on the piano, flute, and piccolo

J is for favorite Juice: orange juice

K is for Kids: Yep - one

L is for Last kiss: last night

M is for Marriage: Yep – for 11 years now.

N is for Name of my best friend: Doug

O is for Overnight Hospital stays: Two when I had baby J

P is for Phobias: I’m not sure. I fear certain things (pain/suffering) but they don’t necessarily prevent me from doing things. I don’t have any irrational fears that I know of like a fear of heights or anything.

Q is for Quote: “Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.”

R is for biggest Regret: Don’t believe in regret. Just learn and move on.

S is for Self confidence: I think I’m fairly self-confident. Probably more so than the average woman my age.

T is for Time I wake up: Between 5:30 and 6:30 during the week (depending on how many times I hit that snooze button) and between 6 and 8 on the weekend (depending on what time J wakes me up)

U is for Underwear: yes, always

V is for Vegetable I love: asparagus, broccoli, spinach, cauliflower, brussel sprouts… there really are very few I don’t like

W is for Worst habit: television

X is for X-rays I’ve had: annual dental x-rays, mammogram, cat scan, and wrist x-ray for carpel tunnel - not really an x-ray but I'll include it here is an ultrasound

Y is for Yummy food I make: all of it…. right?

Z is for Zodiac: Taurus



Me from A to Z

I was reading some journaling prompts and one said to list adjectives that describe me. While that is all well and good, I thought it would be more fun to come up with an adjective for each letter of the alphabet. I’m fairly certain I’ll have to consult a dictionary and a thesaurus on this assignment though I’ll start with as many as I can think of without them.

A is for anxious

B is for blunt

C is for clumsy

D is for disciplined

E is for expressive

F is for frugal

G is for guarded

H is for heedful

I is for impatient

J is for judgmental

K is for knowledgeable

L is for loving

M is for methodical

N is for nostalgic

O is for opinionated

P is for productive

Q is for quirky

R is for responsible

S is for stubborn

T is for thankful

U is for unwasteful

V is for vigilant

W is for worried

X is for xenophilous

Y is for young

Z is for zealous

Whew! I’ll have to admit I had to ask for help to find one starting with X but I’m pretty happy with the list all in all. It does make me wonder, when presented with this task, how many people would list all positive or all negative attributes about themselves. I think I have a pretty decent balance as I look back over my list. That’s me – from A to Z.

Location, location, location

I’ve been “working” on a Book of Me scrapbook for years. By working on it I mean I’ve been collecting journaling prompts and making notes about the album. I even purchased the album – a beautiful jewel tone 12x12 album that I adored the first time I saw it and, at the time, was the most expensive album I had ever purchased. I haven’t actually completed a single page in it but need to get started on all the journaling that will be required for it. One of the journaling prompts asks, “How many houses/apartments have you lived in during your life?” I had to stop to count but the final count on all residences is thirteen to date.

I lived in a small house in Birmingham, AL when I was first born that I have no recollection of at all. We soon moved to another small house a few blocks away where I lived until I was six. I loved this little home because I had my own room, a playroom off the kitchen just big enough for a little table for tea parties, a little playhouse in the back yard where I would play with my backdoor neighbors Cathy and Carol, and a huge hedge across the backyard separating my house from theirs where seemingly-thousands of lightning bugs seemed to congregate on hot summer evenings. Dad also had a workshop out back where he would let me hammer to “help” anytime I wanted. When I went back to look at this house years later, it was so much smaller than I remembered.

My dad was transferred to Mobile, AL when I was six and he and I moved in temporarily with my grandparents who lived there until my parents could sell the other house and find a rental house. They lived on a quiet cove and I loved visiting them and staying there. We soon moved into a rental house and shortly thereafter, my grandfather was transferred to Birmingham, AL! I don’t remember a lot about the rental house except one of our neighbors had a tree in their yard that I thought was the biggest tree in the whole world. We lived in this house while our new home was being built.

The house I lived in for the next eleven years was on Stonemill Run in Mobile. It was a brown house with a stone front, a long front porch, a tiny playroom for my toys (unair-conditioned though I never seemed to mind that when I was little), and a bedroom that I loved. I had a closet that I would crawl into the back of and find my “secret space” where I later had a John Stamos poster on the wall, a pillow against the wall, and my diary in a shoe box. I had great friends who lived on that street with me. My best friend Johnny lived next door and, when his family moved away, a wonderful new friend named Vail Rumley moved in. People usually thought we were sisters as we both had blonde hair and were so much alike. I had another friend down the street named Kelly and she and I would slide down the hill three doors down to pick wild raspberries. That hill was later flattened and houses were built there which always made me a little sad.

When I was eighteen, I packed my bags and moved to the other end of the state. I moved into a dormitory at the University of North Alabama called Rice Hall. Over the next two years I would reside in two different rooms (though I’ve counted this as a single residence). The rooms provided ample bookshelves and desk space though I always thought the closet space was lacking, particularly when I moved into a three-person room with two of my friends and we had to share two closets. Not an easy task for three clothes-obsessed college girls. We did a lot of sharing!

My first summer as a college student, I moved into a dorm at Shocco Springs Baptist Conference Center to work as a summer staffer. I shared a small room and one closet with two other girls and we had a blast. The following summer I lived in LaGrange Hall on campus with another friend for a few months while school was in session then, when they kicked us out between semesters, a friend of my roommate’s let us move in with him. He had a two bedroom apartment, lived alone, and traveled frequently for work.

Soon I moved into my first apartment. I thought it was the most wonderful slum apartment in the world. I could always tell people which one was mine because there was a shingle falling off the roof right above the door that the landlord would never fix. It was a townhouse within walking distance of campus (though I usually drove to school because I was always running late and usually had to go straight to work from class). The kitchen was decorated in the most awful 70s avocado green and everything else was stark white. There were far more bad things than good about the apartment, the neighbors, and the neighborhood that I could point out now but it was mine and I adored it.

As an aside, while moving from dorm to dorm and apartment to apartment, I had a total of ten roommates in five years. Perhaps I should write sometime about what I learned from living with each one! Living with people is a tricky business that must be renegotiated with each person. No two roommates are alike and you have to be extremely flexible in dealing with each – after all, the home belongs to both of you! However, I wouldn’t trade any of the experiences and anyone who never had a roommate really missed out on an important life experience, in my opinion.

When I moved to Memphis I moved into a small one bedroom apartment just off Poplar Avenue called Poplar Pines. A train track ran right by the complex which took a lot of getting used to for me. While the closet was huge (the first walk-in closet I ever had), the kitchen was so tiny that I never did get used to cooking in there though I tried to frequently as Doug and I lived there and had our first Christmas as husband and wife there along with seven members of our family… in 800 square feet of apartment! Good thing we all get along.

We quickly outgrew that apartment as most of our wedding gifts had been relegated to a storage facility and, combined, we had more books than we had wall space for bookshelves. We started looking for another place and soon found a delightful condo for rent just a few minutes away. We had super landlords who allowed me to paint and stencil to really make this place my own – another first as my previous landlords wouldn’t allow this. The complex was quiet except that it was next door to a hospital so we would occasionally hear the screaming sirens from the ambulance bay. Additionally, something in the hospital would frequently interfere with our cable television reception and that didn’t sit well with me.

A few years later we decided we had spent enough money on rent without any return and decided to purchase a house. After many, MANY Saturdays looking at houses in and around the Memphis area, we decided that we really couldn’t find anything already built that we loved. We decided to purchase a new construction and settled on Southaven, MS for its excellent schools, quieter neighborhoods, significantly lower crime rates, rock bottom property taxes and costs, and significant growth potential in home value (the county is the fastest growing county in Mississippi and one of the fastest growing in the US). We spent many more Saturdays riding through neighborhoods and visiting model homes. We finally decided on ST subdivision and a small lot (the smallest one still available) on BD. We signed the papers and started construction in the fall of 1999 and moved in about five months later.

I loved this house the day we moved in and still do. I have a significant emotional attachment to this home as well. This was the first house we purchased. This house represented a lot of decisions we made together to turn it from a simple house into a home. This was the home we brought our son to just two days after his birth and the only home he has known. This is the home where we've hosted our friends and family for many gatherings. I’ve put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into this home. We moved into the house on a freezing cold day with a torrential downpour drenching us with each trip to the moving truck. We finally got used to the planes flying overhead as we found out we are living under one of the flight paths for the Memphis International Airport which services all the FedEx planes from midnight until 5am. We worked with my parents to finish out the bonus room ourselves where I discovered I am apparently allergic to fiberglass insulation and have no construction talents. Doug, with the help of his mom and cousin, painted that room just days before Joel arrived so we could move our study up there to create a nursery downstairs. I love this home and, when it is time for residence number fourteen for me, I’ll be a little sad to leave it behind.

19 December 2007

'Tis the Season

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love the decorations. I love the music. I love the spirit of it all. However, I find that my darling three-year-old has not fully embraced the spirit of Christmas yet. He loves the decorations. He loves the music. But he loves the gifts most of all. Which, in all fairness, is what most kids love (and many adults too). However, it is never too early to learn that it really is better to give than to receive.
We've been having some trouble with J acting out at school lately. We and his teachers suspect this is because he loves structure and a regular schedule, he is smart and so becomes bored easily, and he doesn't like to share. In his defense, he doesn't have to share at home since he is the only one who wants to play with his toys. But at school, this has been a bitter pill for him to swallow. So, I thought the best course of action would be to explain to him that he is very fortunate to have the things he has - the toys, the food, the treats, the home - and very lucky to attend such a wonderful school with so many great teachers and fun things to do and interesting toys to play with. We then explained that not everyone has these advantages. This message he understood though I could tell the idea that there are children with no toys was nearly beyond his imagination.
Because we love the Toys for Tots charity and similar organizations, I told him we'd be shopping for other little girls and boys a few nights ago. He thought that was all well and good until the reality hit him in the store. We weren't buying anything for him. Nothing. Not a single one-dollar Hot Wheels car. These toys were all going to... someone else. At that moment the charity left him and he was completely unimpressed with the entire shopping expedition. While he had been helping me pick out books and cars and puzzles and coloring books and helping me toss them gleefully into our cart, he suddenly froze, got a sullen look on his face, and said, "I can't have anything?!?"
It is hard to teach our kids the true meaning of Christmas. We read a board book telling the story of Jesus being born in a stable. He sings songs at school about Jesus' birthday and Paul and Silus and the Hebrew children but the messages haven't really sunk in yet. We talk about how thankful we are for the blessings in our life. But, when all is said and done, his most pressing concern is "but will I be getting what I want from Santa."
Sometimes I have to remind myself he is only three. He speaks like an old man sometimes telling me "we need to have a discussion" or, as was the case this morning, "I just don't feel well, Mommy. Work makes me tired." He is only three though and the spirit of giving hasn't truly caught hold in him yet. I hope that as he grows up though, and sees the spirit of giving around him, sees the charitable gifts, however small, that we try to give to make someone else's day brighter, that he will see that Christmas is not so much about what is under the tree as it is what you can do for someone else to make their day easier. For now he only knows that we bought those toys then he never saw them again but I hope he will come to understand, through the years, what that feeling of giving can be for him.
You don't have to spend a lot of money for Christmas to be special. I am the first to admit that I go overboard sometimes - particularly on my baby. However, if you put real thought into what you are giving, even the simplest and most inexpensive gift can be special. My favorite gift I've received from Doug in the fifteen years we've been together was a handpainted candle holder he painted himself at one of these do-it-yourself pottery places. He didn't handcraft it and it wasn't even his idea to go (it was a work outing). But I loved that he thought of me and painted it just for me in my favorite color. We usually can't afford to spend a lot of money on toys for charity but it is something we deem a priority and try to do it every year. We scrimp a little on each other sometimes to make it possible and I love doing it. I know the look of joy on Joel's face on Christmas morning and knowing that maybe my few toys somehow added to that for another child is a wonderful feeling.
'Tis the Season for Giving - Giving of yourself by taking time out to shop for those less fortunate. Giving of yourself by visiting family and friends. Giving of yourself in letting those you care about know how you feel. At this time of year, the most important thing in the world is family, friends, and giving. I love Christmas!

17 December 2007

Things I’ve learned from being a Mom

It’s been a while since I posted here. I’d love to blame the upcoming holidays or the fact that I’ve had a sick child at home. I’d love to say I’ve been terribly busy doing laundry and wrapping gifts to get ready to be out of town. However, while all of those things are true, I’ve generally just been feeling lazy lately. By the time I get everything done in the evenings, I just want to sit on the sofa and stare blankly at the television while doing my Sudoku puzzles and waiting for the laundry dryer buzzer to sound one last time so I can pull those clothes out, fold them, and go to bed. I was home last week with J for two days during the week – a schedule we are not used to and which, despite my best (albeit tired) efforts, threw us off for days to come. Those days did make me realize some things about myself though – things I’ve learned about myself from being a mom:

  1. I need to be more organized. So much of the time we are just flying from one thing to the next in the evenings and on the weekends that I don’t even realize how disorganized I have become. I used to pride myself on everything in my tiny apartments having their own space. Now I have more space than ever before and nothing is where it should be.
  2. Sometimes good enough is good enough. I don’t always have to be a perfectionist. In my efforts to get more organized, I have found this to be most true. While trying to balance work and spending as much quality time with J as possible, some things just have to be half-done. And that is okay.
  3. I am my worst critic. No matter how much I try to do, it is never enough. At least that is how I feel most of the time. If I cook dinner five nights a week, I feel bad that I didn’t cook the other two or that I made Doug eat leftovers. If I clean up one room of the house then I should have stayed up later to clean just one more room.
  4. There is nothing more angelic than a sleepy boy who wants to nuzzle. J is getting so big now and everything is “all about Daddy” most of the time. He is figuring out his gender role and I am so proud of that fact. However, I do miss that sweet baby breath on my neck where he used to sleep for hours. I miss those gentle coos. There are still two times when I get to enjoy that sweetest moment with my little one though – when he is very tired or sick. He still loves to cuddle and nuzzle just a little with his mommy and I do love it so.
  5. I am a good mother. No matter the shortcomings, the mistakes, and even the criticism I mount against myself when he gets into trouble or falters, I am a good mother. I worry about this frequently but, when all is said and done, I know that J will never look back and think that I didn’t spend enough time with him. He’ll never think that I didn’t love him enough or didn’t care for him enough. He’ll never think that I put anything in my life above my family. I know that all of his needs and most of his wants are being satisfied. I know that I am raising him to be conscientious, loving, empathetic, and genuine. I am encouraging his creativity and finding ways to stimulate his intellect. I am seeking out the best educational opportunities I can afford. I try to encourage his independent streak even when it infuriates me. I love him more than I ever thought possible and, despite my failings, I am a good mother to him. This is the role I am most proud of in my entire life.