'Tis the Season

Christmas has always been my favorite time of year. I love the decorations. I love the music. I love the spirit of it all. However, I find that my darling three-year-old has not fully embraced the spirit of Christmas yet. He loves the decorations. He loves the music. But he loves the gifts most of all. Which, in all fairness, is what most kids love (and many adults too). However, it is never too early to learn that it really is better to give than to receive.
We've been having some trouble with J acting out at school lately. We and his teachers suspect this is because he loves structure and a regular schedule, he is smart and so becomes bored easily, and he doesn't like to share. In his defense, he doesn't have to share at home since he is the only one who wants to play with his toys. But at school, this has been a bitter pill for him to swallow. So, I thought the best course of action would be to explain to him that he is very fortunate to have the things he has - the toys, the food, the treats, the home - and very lucky to attend such a wonderful school with so many great teachers and fun things to do and interesting toys to play with. We then explained that not everyone has these advantages. This message he understood though I could tell the idea that there are children with no toys was nearly beyond his imagination.
Because we love the Toys for Tots charity and similar organizations, I told him we'd be shopping for other little girls and boys a few nights ago. He thought that was all well and good until the reality hit him in the store. We weren't buying anything for him. Nothing. Not a single one-dollar Hot Wheels car. These toys were all going to... someone else. At that moment the charity left him and he was completely unimpressed with the entire shopping expedition. While he had been helping me pick out books and cars and puzzles and coloring books and helping me toss them gleefully into our cart, he suddenly froze, got a sullen look on his face, and said, "I can't have anything?!?"
It is hard to teach our kids the true meaning of Christmas. We read a board book telling the story of Jesus being born in a stable. He sings songs at school about Jesus' birthday and Paul and Silus and the Hebrew children but the messages haven't really sunk in yet. We talk about how thankful we are for the blessings in our life. But, when all is said and done, his most pressing concern is "but will I be getting what I want from Santa."
Sometimes I have to remind myself he is only three. He speaks like an old man sometimes telling me "we need to have a discussion" or, as was the case this morning, "I just don't feel well, Mommy. Work makes me tired." He is only three though and the spirit of giving hasn't truly caught hold in him yet. I hope that as he grows up though, and sees the spirit of giving around him, sees the charitable gifts, however small, that we try to give to make someone else's day brighter, that he will see that Christmas is not so much about what is under the tree as it is what you can do for someone else to make their day easier. For now he only knows that we bought those toys then he never saw them again but I hope he will come to understand, through the years, what that feeling of giving can be for him.
You don't have to spend a lot of money for Christmas to be special. I am the first to admit that I go overboard sometimes - particularly on my baby. However, if you put real thought into what you are giving, even the simplest and most inexpensive gift can be special. My favorite gift I've received from Doug in the fifteen years we've been together was a handpainted candle holder he painted himself at one of these do-it-yourself pottery places. He didn't handcraft it and it wasn't even his idea to go (it was a work outing). But I loved that he thought of me and painted it just for me in my favorite color. We usually can't afford to spend a lot of money on toys for charity but it is something we deem a priority and try to do it every year. We scrimp a little on each other sometimes to make it possible and I love doing it. I know the look of joy on Joel's face on Christmas morning and knowing that maybe my few toys somehow added to that for another child is a wonderful feeling.
'Tis the Season for Giving - Giving of yourself by taking time out to shop for those less fortunate. Giving of yourself by visiting family and friends. Giving of yourself in letting those you care about know how you feel. At this time of year, the most important thing in the world is family, friends, and giving. I love Christmas!