Is it a priority?

My husband is constantly telling me I give him all instructions and information with the same high priority level. He contends that if I want him to really listen and remember, I need to prioritize my rantings. Perhaps he is right.

Just to back up a bit, I have a very high-stress, high-energy personality. I believe if you are going to do something, you might as well do it right or don’t do it at all. I don’t believe in half-assing anything. However, with that said, I recognize the downside to this personality trait: I expect the same thing from others. I expect it from everyone, would be more accurate.

Doug is, in almost every way possible, my opposite. We embody the term “opposites attract.” One of Doug’s favorite sayings is “let the rough end drag” which simply means do your best and drag the rest of the baggage behind and don't worry at all about it. Another of his favorites is “sometimes good enough is good enough.” I really have a hard time living with this. But, I am getting better at adopting this philosophy as my son gets older and I have less and less time to do things the right way (or what I consider to be the right way). Not everything is Code Blue or Threat Level Red.

So, I’ve begun prefacing certain statements with “I need you to actually listen to this” because he often claims, after the fact, that I never told him something because, according to him, “I can’t be expected to listen to everything you say.” To many that might sound harsh but it is probably true. Here are the facts:

1. We went many years without communicating properly and learned our lesson from those years. As a result, we talk about just about everything in our lives. Just about.
2. We commute to and from work together which is a solid hour of togetherness right there. Additionally, we have lunch together at work almost every day – another hour. We typically eat dinner together along with J so that adds another 30 minutes though this 30 minutes is frequently interrupted with utterings such as “Don’t eat ketchup with your fingers,” “You have to eat something other than ketchup,” and “Ketchup really isn’t a vegetable or a fruit.”
3. Doug is my best friend. When all is said and done, we know the other will be there in good times and bad. Who else would help me get through child birth when there was not another soul in the delivery room and the baby was pushing his way out at that moment. And who else would set her clock for every hour on the hour to change bloody bandages from his nasal surgery. We are stuck with each other no matter what so we might as well make the best of it.
4. My first high school band director dubbed me The Mouth of the South. I do like to talk and I do so frequently. While I generally am not one who talks to hear myself talking, I realize that sometimes Doug is “listening” to be nice without hearing a word I am saying. Conversely, he is always shocked when I remember a piece of information he shared with me about wrestling or a video game or comic books that he knows I have little or no interest in. "Yes, babe, I was really listening."

So, I’ve learned to adapt and communicate better. I make him look me in the eye after I’ve said, “Hey! Listen to this. This is a priority.” He knows to not dare forget these words of wisdom I am imparting after that exclamation. What is marriage if not a compromise and a finding of balance between two totally different people?