From the mouths of babes

I often tease J that he is an 82 year old man in a 4 year old body. He complains of back aches to get out of going to school and claims he can barely stand up unassisted when I try to get him dressed. He also says things that no little man ought to say.
We were walking through the grocery store last Friday night when he put his hand on mine as I was pushing the grocery cart. "Mimi," he said in that sweet voice of his, "do you wish I was still a baby?" I paused a minute, considering the question. "Only occasionally," I said. "I do miss you cuddling with me every night." He thought for a moment then said, "You can cuddle with me whenever you want but time has a way of changing." He then got distracted by the vast choices in cereal and pursued a more important discussion on why I should buy some sugar-encrusted cereal instead of the one in my hand.
Another point of interest lately for me is his desire to call me "Mimi" instead of "Mommy." He started this one day after we were having a conversation about names that went something like this:

J: "Mommy, why did you name me J----?"
Me: "Well, my grandfather who meant a great deal to me AND your daddy's grandfather were both named J----. We thought it would be a good name and a strong name for you to live up to and would also honor those people we loved."
J: "I wish you had named me George."
Me: "Why?"
J: "Because I love my PaPa." (J's grandfather is named George.)
Me: "That would have been a good name as well. You are right about that."
J: "Can I call you any name I want like you called me any name you wanted?"
Me: "That depends." (I was leary at this point.)
J: "I want to call you Mimi because no one else calls their Mommy Mimi."

Seems reasonable enough. So, about a third of the time now, I am Mimi and the rest of the time I suspect he forgets and I am Mommy. It is actually quite adorable when he says it. I doubt it will last long but you never know.
It's funny to me how that little mind works. Things that just don't occur to me on a daily basis are issues of great import to him. I wish I could crawl into that little old soul and just see what's going on in that brain for an hour or two. I imagine it would go something like this with topics changing about every 6 seconds: Star Wars fight - I'm hungry - Want to watch Curious George - Can I have candy? - Why am I named what I am? - Ghostbusters! - I'm hungry - Would you please? Could you please? Please won't you be my neighbor? - Fruit Snacks! Where are they? - "Daddy!" - Where are my Batman figures I just got? - Where is my magic wand? - There's Daddy! - "Let's play Star Wars." - I want to be Peter Pan. - and on and on and on and.......

A Little Sponge

I am often astounded at how fast kids learn. One minute they are bundled up in your arms, fresh from the hospital, and the next they are writing and reading. The time flies by too quickly and yet, it makes me swell with pride.
J has always been an enthusiastic learner and yet, now that he is learning to read and write, it seems he can't learn fast enough to quench his thirst for more. He truly is a sponge just absorbing everything around him. This weekend he wanted to "play a game" with me. The game consisted of him thinking of words, asking me how to spell them, and him writing them on a dry erase board. We did this for about an hour before I had to leave to go somewhere and had to promise him that Daddy would take over where I left off.
As he learns Spanish, sign language, and computers in conjunction with reading and writing in K4, it is no secret that he will be far more educated than his parents in no time at all. I fear the day when I am unable to help him with his homework because it is just beyond my capabilities. By starting computer classes at age 2 while I started at age 15, how far along will he be by the time he reaches age 15? Also, what of the kids who aren't in good schools and don't have the advantages that he does. Do they get completely left behind when it comes time to apply to colleges and get good jobs? By the time J graduates from high school, he will have 16 years of computer classes under his belt not to mention untold hours of educational computer programs at home (even if he calls them "games" also).
It is a changing world and I am thankful J has the resources available to him to compete when he gets older. I only hope that he can look back and remember all the fun stuff as well - even if the "fun stuff" to him involves spelling words on a dry erase board. At least I bought him a dry erase board with Batman on it.

100 Things To Do Before I Die - part 2

Last year I posted my master list of things I want to do and places I want to see before I shuffle off this mortal coil. Recently I got to cross off one more item from this list and I enjoyed it so much, I hope to go again as often as possible in the future. The newly-completed goal is number 47 - raft on a level four rapid. Doug and I went to Chattanooga for a long weekend and ventured over to the Ocoee River for a morning of white water rafting. Doug was a little nervous having never been before but the rafting bug bit him and, by the time we reached the final rapid that morning, he was already talking about "our next rafting trip." I can't wait!! The rapid fire level four rapids were exciting and make me crave more of the same.

I've highlighted my newly accomplished goal and duplicated the entire list here as a reminder of what I want to choose next. After all, I still hope to complete a minimum of 15 of these before I turn 40. Now just two more to reach that goal (which makes me wish I had challenged myself to 20 before age 40!).


Original list from 2000:
1. Graduate from college (completed December 17, 1993)
2. Marry my Prince Charming (wedding date August 10, 1996)
3. Take an Alaskan cruise (dream vacation started August 11, 1996 - honeymoon!)
4. Buy a new home (contract signed to start construction on November 19, 1999)
5. Get all of my photos into scrapbooks (completed in August 2002 - I stayed caught up for three days until I started a new roll of film and haven't been caught up again since. The 17 rolls of film in Las Vegas, the Hoover Dam, and the Grand Canyon one month later certainly didn't help!)
6. Finish at least 20 scrapbooks (currently have 13 complete and 4 in process)
7. Pay off all bills and buy something fun
8. Lose 25 pounds (now I need to modify this to lose at least 40 pounds but 25 would be a start!)
9. See the Grand Canyon (completed September 2002)
10. Go to a weekend scrapbooking retreat or convention (first one was in May of 2001 and I've been to several since)
11. Have a child (My beautiful little J arrived on April 3, 2004)
12. See another Broadway show (saw my first one while in high school and saw the equivalent of one in London but am always up for another)
13. Adopt a puppy (This one would probably fall off my list now as I've seen the trouble they are for people who like to travel even for a weekend.)
14. Be a Stay at Home Mom (I would love this so much more now than I ever thought possible when I wrote this.)
15. Take Doug to the Smithsonian Museums (Although I've been 4 or 5 times, Doug hasn't been yet and I think that is a tragedy as much as he likes history and museums.)
16. See all 50 US states (29 down, 21 to go! Airports or just driving through don't count - I have to stay the night and/or see at least one "site.")
17. Buy a new car (not "previously owned" - I know this is extremely wasteful and frivolous but just once it would be nice to own a car that has never belonged to anyone else.)
18.Take a photography course
19. Learn to paint
20. See Mt. Rushmore
21. Visit a volcano
22. Ride in a hot air balloon
23. Visit Yellowstone National Park
24. Ride in a helicopter
25. Take a cooking course
26. Watch a sunset from Central Park (I've been to Central Park but would just like to stop the frantic sight-seeing and enjoy the sun setting over the city's impressive skyline.)
27. Have three months' salary in savings
28. Take a vacation with Doug, Mom, Dad, Sam, and Sandra (completed in September 2002 with our trip to Las Vegas, the Hoover Dam, and the Grand Canyon and again in May 2007 with J's first trip to Gulf Shores, AL to see the beach)
29. Visit Russia
30. See the Hollywood sign
31. Visit New England in the Fall
32. Celebrate 10 years of marriage (completed August 10, 2006)
33. Spend a whole week at a Bed and Breakfast (Doug and I spent a weekend at one years ago and it whet my appetite for sure.)
34. Ride a train through Europe
35. Smile and laugh more often (Someone asked me, "How will you document this one in a scrapbook." I have no idea but it is a wonderful goal to have each and every day.)
36. Snow ski
37. Visit Ireland
38. Go on another cruise (anywhere!)
39. Visit Vancouver again (Doug and I only had one night in Vancouver on our honeymoon and we really want to see more of it.)
40. Visit Germany (my dream vacation destination)
41. Own a piano
42. Celebrate 25 years of marriage (only 14 more to go!)
43. Celebrate 50 years of marriage (only 39 more to go!)
44. Retire while I am still young and healthy enough to travel and enjoy myself

Items added in 2005:
45. Ride the hills of San Francisco on a streetcar
46. Attend a TV show taping
47. Go white water rafting on a level 4 rapid (the most difficult one I've been on is a 3)
48. Meet someone famous
49. Go sailing (I went once on a little catamaran but neither me nor the other person aboard knew what we were doing and generally just fell off the thing a lot.)
50. Swim with the dolphins
51. Ride in a go cart
52. Go scuba diving or snorkeling
53. Visit a spa for a massage (Completed with Doug in Memphis in the Summer of 2006 and again at the Marriott in Florence, AL in August 2006.)
54. See the lights of Christmas in Manhattan
55. Go horse back riding (I haven't ridden a horse since I was a teenager.)
56. See the Great Pyramid in Giza, Egypt
57. See the Aurora Borealis
58. Ride on the Orient Express
59. Learn to dance
60. Learn to fire a gun (I haven't fired a gun since I was a kid at my grandfather's house.)
61. Learn a martial art
62. Go to Australia
63. Learn to knit (I tried this once already and failed miserably so I'll have to give it another go sometime.)
64. See the Great Wall of China
65. Take the Sound of Music Tour in Salzburg
66. Drive or ride on US 1 - the Pacific Coast Highway - in California
67. Get my kicks on Route 66 (While I've been on parts of Route 66, I would love to drive the length of it from Chicago to Los Angeles/Santa Monica.)
68. Enjoy every moment with J
69. Be serenaded by a Venetian gondolier (Unfortunately the gondolier in the Venetian casino in Las Vegas just didn't satisfy this desire.)
70. Ride a mule to the bottom of the Grand Canyon (I traded a ride in a Cessna over the Grand Canyon for this the last time. I won't make that trade off next time.)
71. Gaze upon a magnificent waterfall. (I've seen several waterfalls but none that seem to qualify for this awe-inspiring goal. I guess I'll know the right one when I see it.)
72. Eat a hot dog at Nathan's original Coney Island location
73. Visit Seattle
74. Attend Gospel Brunch at the House of Blues
75. Visit the Art Institute of Chicago (completed September 2006 - our favorite place on our Chicago Anniversary trip)
76. Ride a mechanical bull
77. Stay in a teepee at the Wigwam Village in Cave City, KY

The beginnings of my list for 2010:
78. Shop Munich's Christkindlmarkt
79. See the Neuschwanstein Castle in Füssen
80. Go to Oktoberfest in Munich
81. Eat at Mrs. Wilkes' Boarding House in Savannah, GA
82. Stay at Gravetye Manor in Grinstead
83. Stay at the Kinloch Lodge on the Isle of Skye
84. Kiss the Blarney Stone
85. Drive the Grossglockner Road in Austria
86. Eat a chocolate at Mary Chocolatier in Brussels, Belgium - the premier shop for chocolate in the world
87. Travel the Romantic Road in Bavaria
88. Take Doug to the Sopporo Snow Festival and the Tsukiji Fish Market
89. Stay at Mackinac Island's Grand Hotel
90. See the trail one of my ancestors trekked - The Lewis and Clark Trail
91. Go to Carnival in Rio de Janeiro
92. See the Acropolis in Athens, Greece
93. Visit Santa's Village in Rovaniemi, Lapland, Finland

Edited to add number 94. Play paintball.

Advice to a Friend

I had a friend email me this week asking for my "sage advice" on motherhood. I'm not sure I have any of that but I wrote back just the same. Following is most of what I sent to her. After I sent it I realized that there were several things in here that I want to remember about being a mom - the good and the bad - so I thought I'd put it here, slightly altered to remove names and protect the innocent. Some of it is in response to questions she posed or statements about herself but I think it all makes sense even out of context.

Hmmmm..... what to tell you so it is honest without scaring you.....
Just kidding.

My honest answer is that things will never be the same but that is okay. Not only okay but fabulous. I think everyone is different in how a pregnancy and the crazy hormones affect them. For me, I became terribly forgetful both during and after my pregnancy and this has never gone back to "normal." There is a reason I keep such an organized calendar with everything from doctors' appts to soccer practice to when my library books are due --- it is because I can barely remember how to dress myself sometimes, it seems. I also cry at the drop of a hat - something I don't at all know what to do with to this day because I never had that problem pre-J. But, what I have come to realize is that is okay.

Being a mommy to someone whose whole life is dependent on you is both the most terrifying and most fulfilling feeling I've ever had. It doesn't equate in any way to how you feel about any other aspect of your life. The way you love your husband or your father or your sibling or your friend will pale in comparison to the amount of love you will pour into this one tiny being. The attention you give those people will pale when compared to the attention this little one not only requires but what you want to give. It doesn’t mean you have less love for those people, just that this tiny person depends on you for every need in their life. I find myself dropping the housework on a dime to read a little boy a story because I know, at that moment, nothing matters to him more in this world than his mommy. The housework -- or whatever it is -- is so unimportant at that moment. There is a reason we finally had to break down and hire a housekeeper. My housework will never be more important to me than those 10 minutes of storytime for as long as J wants me to spend time with him (because I know it won't be like that forever). There will come a day when he not only doesn't beg me to be with him, he wouldn't dream of wanting me there.

Work is the same way. All of those things that you are stressing about at work... when you are on maternity leave, those become someone else's problems at least for the time you are away. You CAN NOT worry about that while adjusting to motherhood. There simply isn't enough of you to go around and your little one deserves and will demand your undivided attention. There is no planning around him - he will dictate things for a while. I had a very healthy and uneventful pregnancy and relatively easy delivery. I was still more tired in the first week than I have ever been in my entire life. The good news? It does get better and easier even as it changes.

Life with an infant, a creeper, a toddler, a preschooler, etc. is a daily-changing affair that requires your flexibility but also, I believe, your organization. You will rise to the challenge because you are driven to do so. You will become what you need to be because you, like me and many others, see there is no alternative for raising a happy, healthy, intelligent, productive member of society. Honestly, there are days you don't know what you are going to do or how you are going to get through it. There are days that you realize you not only don't have all the answers, you'd be thrilled to come up with one solid lead on any answer at all. Motherhood is tough. I think anyone who says it isn't is ignoring some vital part of their child's development. And, between you, me, and the other women out there, I think we have it a little harder than the men. I don't mean in the physical sense of carrying the child or breastfeeding or any of those things. For me, those parts were a sheer joy. I mean in the pure emotional attachment we have to our kids. There is something about carrying that child that makes you forever linked to him in a way that I don't think any man can fully comprehend. This may not be true but I believe it to be true. There is a reason we women are the ones who can sit up all night by our child's bed when they are sick despite not having slept in days when the guys have long-since drifted off to sleep unintentionally on the sofa. It is the most remarkable feeling on earth.

Now, I say that like it is always a good thing. It isn't. You will worry. You will lose sleep. There are nights I don't sleep at all for worrying. About money. About J's school. About his behavior. About ridiculous things like potty training. There is just a switch that comes on the moment you find out there is a child on its way that makes you realize you are the sole provider for this child forever. I am not discounting a father's role but I do believe that no matter what happens in our lives, it is our mothers we always turn to or want to turn to and I think that is doubly true for boys. They always have a soft spot for their moms (at least in normal, functional families).

As for making mistakes or missteps - just think of them as a fact of life. You are going to be pulled in lots of different directions and you will occasionally make mistakes. The more you open up to people and allow them to see what is going on with you and why, the more I've found people are willing to work with you. As you know, J struggled for about a year. Things have only in the past month and a half righted themselves. There were many, many days when I had to drop everything here at work to go pick him up. I worried there would be repercussions because I used all my sick and vacation days and had to start taking unpaid days. The surprise? More people understand family problems and maternal issues than you might believe. But, my view point is, if they don't understand, do I really want to work for people like that anyway? I do worry that my maternal obligations and choices might eventually effect my employment but that is a risk I have to take. My child will always come before my job just as I know yours will as well. We don't have it in us to be any other way and I think that is a good thing.

As for your health, just remember that you are no use to your child unless you are healthy. Put yourself first in taking care of yourself when at all possible. There will be times when you will not sleep for 2 or 3 days because of extenuating circumstances. There will be times you have to get out of bed when you don't feel good because your child needs you. However, when at all possible, take care of yourself as well. Most husbands will rise to the occasion just as mine has. They have something in them too that we probably can't relate to and can't understand. Paternal instinct gets overlooked and overshadowed by the maternal counterpart but I think it exists and in abundance. Allow him to make his own mistakes and find his own way to becoming the type of father he wants to be. Take it from a control freak, it is hard to step away sometimes - particularly when you don't agree with what they are doing. But, it is vitally important for them to go their own way. Let him. He will surprise, astound, and wow you.

The third trimester (if your pregnancy is anything like mine) will be the hardest. I wish I could sugar coat that but it seems to be the general consensus among all women I've known who have ever been pregnant. That's when my memory went. I had to lie down half way through the day on more than one occasion because I was simply too tired to go on without a 10 minute nap. I would get up, shower, then have to lie back down for 5 minutes because the sheer act of getting ready in the morning was exhausting and draining. My ankles disappeared entirely which, for someone working on their feet on concrete floors all day, presented their own problems. I was exhausted, bloated, emotional, and generally disorganized and, yet, you have to keep going. I worked until the day I went into labor. I don't recommend that. Take a few days, if you make it to your due date, prior to your date to rest. You will need it. That was my one regret about the entire process though I thought I still had time.

Routines, you ask? I vaguely remember what the concept of a firm routine looks like? I haven't actually experienced it in over 4 years. If there is one thing motherhood has taught me, it is flexibility. It is always good to have a plan but be sure you have at least two back up plans as well as a willingness to go off-plan altogether when all three of those initial plans don't work out. Whether it is the babysitter who calls because she got a better offer for what to do on a Friday night (though is at least smart enough to camouflage it as a sore throat) or a child projectile vomiting all over you in a crowded Olive Garden, you have to learn to be flexible and laugh at those little moments. Children crave routine so trying one is always good. Children also do whatever they can both willingly and knowingly and unknowingly to disrupt those routines. You just have to go with it. Life is too short to obsess about things like that.

You are right about one thing - motherhood's theme should be "suck it up" a great deal of the time. We, as mothers, must almost always put ourselves last in every equation for the peace and furtherance of our families. However, the payoff of that is that you have this wonderful, beautiful, smiling, joy of a child in your arms at the end of a long and trying day when you feel like nothing is going right and you will never be "first" again. It is true that one of my favorite things in the whole world is the feeling of a baby's breath on my neck as he sleeps peacefully and quietly in your arms. There is no feeling in all of this world like it and it can't be replicated with someone else's child. No matter how many children you've held in your lifetime, they can't hold a candle to the feeling you have the first time your baby falls asleep in your arms. And all of those other worries and trials and issues just melt away... even if only for a few minutes.

Every single day is a roller coaster ride. My best "sage advice" is to strap on your seat belt and get ready for the ride of your life. It is more than worth the price of admission!

Too Smart?

We’ve had a lot of problems lately with J. For about fifteen days, we didn’t have a single good day at school. There were reports of biting, kicking, hitting students, hitting teachers, screaming, pulling curtains off the wall, throwing things, etc. This list went on and on. I had to leave work on several occasions to pick him up because they wouldn’t let him finish out the day. I was truly at my wits end. Then one tiny change was implemented. J was moved to a class with older kids. Now playing with K4 and K5 kids, we’ve had not a single bad report.

J has been an angel. We speculated over the reasons for the change. This morning, one of the teachers told me that she isn’t at all surprised at the change because he is so much smarter than the other kids his age. He gets frustrated trying to communicate with them. He sees them hitting and kicking and just follows suite because it is the only way to communicate with some of them. With the older kids, he feels the need to show them how “big” he is and he can communicate with them on their level. It is hard to grasp sometimes that intellect can be a downfall sometimes.

I am so thankful for a school that looks for solutions rather than just pointing out problems. I am so thankful for teachers willing to try and try again. I am so thankful for my little boy who is still learning every day how to act and how to treat his friends. I am thankful that he is that smart… even if it means it makes things so much harder sometimes.

The Baby Borrowers

I am generally not a big fan of reality television. However, there is a new show on TV that I love. It is more of a social experiment, I believe, than most reality television can claim to be. Baby Borrowers takes five young couples, all between the ages of 18 and 20, who believe they are ready for married life, adulthood, and babies. The show gives them big, beautiful houses to live in - none of them having ever lived together before. They are given one day to settle into their new homes and enjoy the "married life" before the first package arrives. All the girls must don simulated pregnancy suits for the next 24 hours until their real babies arrive. One girl can't even bear the thought of the suit because it hurts and looks hideous. Already I was hooked on this show!

The next phase of the show brings 5 babies into the picture, each assigned to a different couple, all six to eleven months old. The real parents can watch the action and even intervene if necessary, like when one of the girls gives up feeding one of the babies and says, "Fine. Starve." and walks off. There are also trained nannies in each house for emergency situations only (choking or something like that).

The show is riveting so far and they are only in the first phase. Already every "mother" has broken down and they are only in Phase 1. One mother is upset because the baby likes the boyfriend more than her which SO mirrors real life that it isn't even funny. I can't tell you how many days J has refused to do ANYTHING for one of us but will do it immediately and without argument for the other one just because he likes the other one better that day. Phase 2, approximately 4 days after the baby arrives, replaces that baby with a toddler and the previews look awesome! As the parent of a toddler, I can't wait to see those shows! Phase 3 starts 3 days later when the toddler leaves and in walks several pre-teens and their pets. Phase 4 brings a teenager into the home and Phase 5 leaves them caring for an elderly adult, complete with health problems, pills to remember, wheelchairs, etc.

These kids who think they are so ready to grow up and have kids of their own are cracking under the pressure in just 24 hours. Why are kids these days so anxious to grow up? Why can they not just enjoy being teenagers, enjoy a life with fewer responsibilities?

I love my toddler more than life itself. I devote most of my time that I am not working to him in one way or another. I love spending time with him and I adore him. However, I am so glad I didn't have him straight out of high school or even college. I am even glad I didn't have him in my 20s. I am so thankful for the years that were just about me through most of college and the years that were just about me and my husband without a child in the picture after that.

Once you have a child, that commitment is for life. There will never be another day of your life when you won't be that child's parents - even when you are 90 years old. If you are lucky, that child will depend on you in one way or another forever - even if it is just looking to you for advice or for love or to be a grandparent or great-grandparent to their kids and their kids' kids.

Seeing these kids who want to have kids themselves makes me a little sad. I think this social experiment labeled as reality television is great. If it can persuade even just these 10 young people that they aren't ready, it will be worth its weight in gold. One of the guys even said he agreed to do the show to convince his girlfriend they aren't ready and comments often throughout the show, "My plan is working!" I hope the plan is working also!

New Year's Resolutions - 6 Month Update

So, for many people, I'm sure their New Year's Resolutions are long-since forgotten by now. Not me. I rarely make a ton of resolutions but I want to follow-through on the ones I make.

Here they are once again along with the progress I’ve made. I'm pretty happy with where I am at this point.

1. Start getting up earlier in the morning (ugh) to allow time for exercise and to make J a healthy breakfast. As expected, I am not following through on this one. Doug and I were just discussing our morning routine today. It isn't working. As for the exercise, I've solved that in another way by joining a gym and have been going an average of 2 times a week (meaning sometimes I go 4 times and sometimes I don't go at all). This has been a hard habit to get started but I am still optimistic that I can make this lifestyle change for both me and Doug. We need to encourage and even guilt each other a little better into going. As for J's breakfast, I need to do better in helping with that one. I have been doing one thing better and that is buying almost exclusively healthy options for breakfast. That way, even if it is a grab-and-go breakfast, it is still a Special K bar or a Clif bar or raisins as opposed to something awful like sugar cereal. I've also cut down on the sugar cereals I buy for Doug because I know J will want them as well. Fortunately, J's favorite cereals are Raisin Bran Crunch, Kix, Frosted Mini Wheats, and Organic Clifford Crunch. While only the Clifford Cereal is sugar free, at least they are all better for him than what a lot of kids eat.

2. Paint at least one room in my house (my bedroom, the guest bathroom, and/or the guest room/playroom) and hire someone to paint my kitchen. As noted before, I took a day off and painted the guest bathroom which is also J's bathroom. I am really happy with how it turned out. J wanted a monkey-themed bathroom and I think it is adorable. I also bought sample paint to test the colors in the kitchen and master bedroom. Hopefully I can hire that job out later this year when the funds are more readily available.

3. Make my front flowerbeds look presentable. With some help from J (okay, maybe mostly him throwing dirt around while I worked) and some real hard work and help from my dad, my front flower bed looks awesome. There are new flowers throughout the bed. The old flowers have been trimmed. The hedges have been trimmed. One hedge was removed due to over-crowding. A beautiful brick edging was added to hold all of our brand new mulch in when it rains. All in all, I am extremely happy with this project. Now if I can just keep the flowers alive with no more rain than we've been having, I'll be really happy!

4. Lose some weight - any amount will do. I've only lost 5 pounds since joining the gym the last week in April but I've been really happy with the results the gym is producing just the same. The first night we met with our trainer, I thought I was going to die within the first 5 minutes on the elliptical. My heart was racing and I was out of breath. Within a few weeks, I could do that same elliptical, hold a conversation with him while on it, climb off, and be ready to tackle the next hurdle. While losing weight would be great, I've definitely shifted my focus to just feeling better and being healthier. If the weight loss comes with that then great. If not, I'm okay with that as well.

5. Spend more time with my friends. Game night, anyone? We just had 16 people come over for a weekend of games, RockBand, karaoke, and visiting. It was awesome and I'm looking forward to the next big weekend get-together in August with most of them. Additionally, we've got friends coming up this weekend for a kid-centered weekend at the Botanic Gardens and the Zoo and I've got a crop next weekend. I adore the time spent with our friends and look forward to many more good times with them. I do need to learn balance and I need to learn to say no sometimes. Our weekends have become so booked and backed up that there is never a single weekend to look forward to without plans. Never time to rest or just sit around and watch a movie at home. Next year's New Year's Resolution needs to perhaps involve a greatly reduced number of plans with friends and family. Ironic, isn't it - you always want things to be the way they aren't.

So, that's the update for now. All in all, not bad progress for the 6-month mark. My biggest goal for the remaining 6 months is to really hit the gym hard. I need it to be a priority in a way that it hasn't been. I need that lifestyle change so I will feel healthier. So I can be around for J for the next 50 years. So I can set a good example for J of healthy living, eating, and exercise. There is no greater gift to give a child than to just set a good example. I hope to do that.

Friends

My parents are staying with us this week before taking J home with them for a week so 16 of our closest friends can spend the weekend with us. J is attending Vacation Bible School this week. One treat when my parents are in town for him is that my mom will pick him up an hour or so earlier than we typically do from after-school care. On Monday afternoon, my mom had the following conversation with J. I thought it was so sweet.

G: How was Vacation Bible School today?
J: Good. Will you go with me tomorrow?
G: Go with you to Bible School? I don't think they let grandmas go.
J: But the man on the stage said we needed more people.
G: I think he meant more kinds your age.
J: But he said to bring our friends.

I'm so thankful that J views his grandparents as friends. He has so much fun with them and looks up to them at the same time. They spoil him while still making him mind. I am very thankful for our parents and the positive influence they have on J's life. I hope he always knows how lucky he is to have them.

Dreaming

It is funny to me how my dreams have changed over the years. I remember dreaming about fanciful things as a child. I remember waking up loving the dreams I just had and bursting to tell someone about them. I've always been very good at remembering my dreams - at least for a few minutes after I wake up - before they are erased by the craziness that is a morning at our house.
My dreams these days though typically fall into just a few categories. The most prevalent dream I have is some kind of automobile-related trauma. I'm either in a wreck or my car is being stolen or I'm being carjacked. Never a good dream about a vehicle. The second type of dream I have generally involves friends in unusual situations - we are all taking a trip together or we are all at an unusual place we wouldn't normally be. I don't typically have a lot of interaction in these dreams but I'm generally just watching events unfold. I'm sure that means something. The last kind of dream I have involves my husband and son and are usually just mundane things like grocery shopping or paying bills or having discussions. Money is typically an underlying factor in many of my dreams which seems about right to me.
I was struck the other day that I miss the fanciful dreams of my childhood. This dawned on me as J was telling me about the "great dreams" he had the night before. "First I dreamed I was Speed Racer. I was racing around and around and I was winning! Then I dreamed I saw Superman flying over our house except he kept dropping his boots. I didn't want his boot to fall on our house but I just kept watching him 'cause it was so cool!" Hmmm... perhaps tragedy enters our dreaming state even when we are children. Perhaps my car wreck is the equivalent of his Speed Racer taken to its logical end. Maybe my carjacking is his falling boot. Maybe things aren't so different after all. It's nice to think our kids have only wonderful, magical dreams. I hope that is true for J for a very long time... falling boots and all.

The First Step

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” - Lao-tzu

My single step was walking into the gym last night and writing a check I can’t afford. I need to exercise. I need to feel healthier and have more energy. One of my New Year’s Resolutions was to exercise. A lot of people resolve to lose weight or to make drastic lifestyle changes. I know that is a naïve way to approach this. My goal is simply to add exercise into my weekly (if not daily) routine. However, this hasn’t been an easy goal to achieve.

As all of our friends love to point out, we are very busy. We spend a lot of time with out of town family and friends. We try to make time for activities for just us with J as often as possible. We attempt to pursue our own hobbies (even if it is not as often as we’d like). All of this leaves us with little to no “free time.” However, once you decide something is critically important, it is amazing where you can find little niches of time. Taking care of your health is obviously one of the most important things in life. To not make time for it is foolish and we are trying to rectify that now.

Earlier this year we made a commitment to start eating better. We’ve done pretty good by and large. We can still do better. We also made a commitment to exercise. We’ve not done as well in this area. So, after much deliberation and conversation, we joined the gym. My rationale is that if I am writing them a check each month, I will go. Additionally, they have a pool which J is extremely excited about so he will encourage us to go because he will want to be in the pool as often as possible. Once he turns five, they also have an athletic club for kids which will be good for him. I never want him to fall into the childhood obesity trap that so many kids these days find themselves in thanks, in large part, to convenience foods and high-sugar foods. We try so hard to limit his intake of these items but it is nearly impossible to regulate everything. So, the kids’ activities will become increasingly important as he gets older to keep him in shape and keep him healthy.

So, my journey of a thousand miles toward feeling better, living longer, and being healthier hopefully starts here. I look forward to the challenge and am trying to maintain a positive attitude despite my past experiences with exercise. This time it is going to be different!

Spring is in the air

Every year I dread the arrival of spring. The yard needs to be mowed. The flowers need to be planted. My allergies go crazy. It starts to get hot. There really is nothing about spring and summer that I find particularly appealing.

I love cold weather and snow and “dreary” looking days. I love Christmas and Halloween and New Year’s Eve and all the fun they have to offer. Spring and summer really have nothing to offer in comparison.

However, I have a son who loves spring and summer. He loves that it is still daylight when I am trying to get him to start thinking about going to bed (he sees it as an excuse not to abide). He loves warm weather and playing outside. He loves swimming and running in the grass. For these reasons, I try to love spring. I try but I’ve just not quite made it there yet.

My Favorite Color

During my life I’ve gone through several favorite colors as I’ve changed and grown and matured. I’ve loved red and black, silver and purple. However, for many years now I’ve settled on green as my favorite color. I like so many of the shades and love the feelings it invokes. It seems fitting to talk about this color this week since it is the National Color of Ireland. Happy St. Patty’s Day!

With Spring just around the corner, it is the color of life and the environment and invigoration. Green is usually associated with positive attributes like a green thumb or finding greener pastures. A green light gives you the go-ahead.

Green is a restful color. Is it the color of my birthstone – the beautiful emerald. It is the color of the best apples in the world – the Granny Smith. It is the color of a mint leaf, a Christmas tree, jade, rolling hills, and my eyes. It symbolizes hope, renewal, and peace. Green is said to be the color of harmony and balance.

If your favorite color is supposed to speak to you, I hope I can glean some of its hope, renewal, and peace for my life. I hope I can carry around the images it conjures to brighten my days.

Age is a State of Mind

I was discussing people who are our age with Doug and how I am often astounded at people who are our age but look so much older. Not our friends but just people we encounter from time to time. I look at our group of friends and think we all look relatively equal in age. However, others our age surprise me sometimes when I find out "she's only a year older than me?!?"
I've never understood those women (or men, for that matter) who let their age define them. I didn't get overly exuberant when I reached 21. I didn't mourn when I passed 29. I'm not depressed at the idea of 40 "looming on the horizon" (as some might put it). I've also never understood the idea of cosmetic surgery or even the new processes like Botox. I know what drives these big money businesses - pure vanity. I'm just astounded at how many women are susceptible to such ideas.
I will say though, as I am starting to show signs of my age, that I am also amazed at women who do nothing to preserve their youth. I'm always a little surprised at women who wear no makeup - even though just a little lip gloss and powder would make them look ten years younger - or those who haven't figured out that liquid foundation actually highlights those little wrinkles around their eyes instead of camouflaging them.
I like to think I'm not terribly vain but I guess the fact that I won't go out to get the mail without my lipstick on means that I really am. The funny thing is - it isn't really about who will see me but about how I feel about myself. And the even funnier thing is that I feel better about myself, even with 40 looming on that horizon, than I can ever remember feeling. Even with those extra 60 pounds I found since college. It's funny how age can give us some perspective. Perhaps older is wiser!

A Little J Magic... or a Little White Lie

J loves to do magic like his favorite character from The Wiggles, Greg. He wiggles his fingers in front of the television when I am starting a movie in the DVD player, says Wiggle Waggle, and calls that "A Little J Magic" when it starts. His favorite magic trick is to make things disappear. This requires some audience participation, somewhat unbeknownst to him. He holds up his Magic Sheet (any blanket, handkerchief, restaurant napkin, etc.), says the magic words (usually Wiggle Waggle or Abracadabra) and the object disappears (which really means someone in the "audience" hides it from his view when he pulls down the sheet). He's been doing this trick for some time now and was shocked when it worked the first time. He's still a little shocked when it works each time. He's made things disappear as small as a penny or a salt shaker all the way up to making me disappear. While J has caught on that we are involved, he still gets mad if he actually sees us moving the object. He'll say, "Don't do that. I'm going to make it disappear."
Last night we called him at his grandparents' to check on him. He was having fun playing with a box of "new" toys (toys that belonged to me when I was his age that mom and dad just got out of the attic for him). He then said he wanted to do some magic. Mom said he grabbed the closest Magic Sheet, ran into the living room (alone), and started screaming Wiggle Waggle! He did this several times before coming back to GranMa to announce that his magic wasn't working. We told him magic has to have an audience in order to work. Really, is there any harm in little lies when you are a kid? Doesn't it make things just a little more fun... and magical?

Take My Heart With You

It is amazing how the smallest comment can carry you all through your day. How one little sentence can make any day brighter. J is going to his grandparents' house this week for Spring Break. I was telling him goodbye this morning with all that entails (be good, I love you, mind your Papa and GranMa, etc.). He grabbed me around the neck for a tight hug, gave me a big kiss, and said, "I'm gonna miss you, Mommy." as he nuzzled into my neck. That's all I needed to carry me through the week. I hope he always knows that when he is away from me, he carries my heart with him.

The Tomato Drill

Sometimes J’s brain gets ahead of his mouth and causes him to get a little tongue tied or for the wrong words to come out. I have tried pointing out to him when he uses the wrong word but he will swear he used the correct one and will not waiver. This one was a conversation between J and my mom – GranMa.

J: At school we have tomato drills.
G: Tomato drills?!?
J: Yes, tomato drills. We have to get on the floor and sit like this (puts his hands on top of his head).
G: You do this when a tomato is coming?
J: (exasperated) No, GranMa! When a tornado is coming!

Ridiculous things I want to spend money on

Everyone knows I'm cheap. I can't help it - just brought up that way, I guess. It is a habit I've cultivated over my entire lifetime. Doug says that he thinks if I won the lottery, I would still be frugal. This is likely true. However, occasionally I run across things that make me think, "now that I would blow money on if I had it to spare." I'm going to start a running list of things I'll purchase if I ever win the lottery (since I would actually have to have millions in the bank before I'd be this irresponsible).

This is the first of those things. ecreamery.com allows you to design your own ice cream flavors and then name your flavor and have it shipped to you. Since ice cream is one of my very favorite desserts, I can't imagine a better dessert than an ice cream containing exactly what I wanted. They have traditional flavors like chocolate and vanilla and even my favorite (dark raspberry) along with nontraditional flavors like anise, mango, ginger, and clove. Stir ins include traditional delights like dark chocolate alongside stranger additions like cheddar cheese and basil. So, when I finally get around to buying that lottery ticket that will, of course, be a winner, what kind of ice cream does everyone love?

The second thing I'd like to purchase in abundance is L'Occitane en Provence items. I currently indulge in their tinted lip balms (one of my all time favorite beauty products), their pure shea butter tin, and their solid Green Tea perfume. I received a Ruban d'Orange shower gel for Christmas and it is divine. However, when I have millions in the bank, I'd love to add some of their other delectable products to my toiletry case.

The third thing that I can think of right off is really good quality linens. I love having cloth napkins at the dinner table. Everything tastes better when served on a beautiful plate with a cloth napkin tucked under the corner - right? I also adore really good, quality sheets on the bed. I would love to be able to splurge on these items without thinking, "they want what for a set of Queen sheets?!?"

The final thing for today is Kinerase moisturizer. I've always been of the opinion that any facial moisturizer was just as good as the next one. Boy, was I ever wrong. I received a postcard from my favorite makeup store Sephora to take home a sample of Kinerase on them. The offer was followed by my favorite words on a postcard like this: No purchase necessary. So, the next time I was at the mall, I picked up my sample. I expected little of the sample, valued at $35. However, I was wrong! The lotion is light and airy and feels like a little bit of satin on your face. And, even more surprising, it actually does what it says it will do. It temporarily erases the smile lines and wrinkles around my lips, eyes, and forehead and has lessened their appearance overall. I've tried my best to use it sparingly to make the tiny little pot last as long as possible but I am almost to the bottom. At $117 for 2.8 oz, I won't be replacing it. Well, not until I win the lottery anyway.

As I think of additional items, I'll revise this post to include them.

The Joys of Cleanliness

I've never been a great housekeeper though, in my younger days, before career and family, I kept a pretty good apartment. However, with the stresses of career, a child, a larger house, etc., it has just gotten to be more than I can keep a grasp on. So, we recently employed a housekeeper to come in once every other week for a few hours. I've thought about doing this several times before and could just never justify the expense in our already shoestring budget. However, as I walked into my newly cleaned house last night, I could kick myself for not doing it sooner.
Our house is now cleaner than it has been in years. It actually took my breath away when I walked in and saw how great it looked. She went above and beyond what I expected from "a few hours" and even left a note apologizing for "not finishing." I think I'm in love!
It was amazing to me what coming home to a clean house that I didn't have to clean myself did for my outlook last night. I was tired after a big weekend and a few days of work this week. My normal routine would be to go home and stress about the state of the house and try to get a few chores completed while watching J and then fall into bed too exhausted to sleep well. Instead, I cooked dinner in my sparkling kitchen, played with J for a few hours, then sat down on my clean sofa and watched television until I fell asleep. When I woke up, I went to bed and slept the sleep of the just, as my dad would say. It was pure bliss.
I know the house won't look as clean by this weekend (or maybe even tonight). There will be toys pulled out and left in the floor. There will be dirty dishes in the sink and clean ones on the counter needing to be put away. However, just for last night, it was so nice to walk around the house and admire it, to appreciate the joy of cleanliness.

Happy Valentine's Day

So many people complain about the commercialization of this "holiday." With the Valentine's Day cards going up at Hallmark the day after Christmas, it is easy to agree with that sentiment. However, I don't think it is such a bad thing to set aside a day when we make extra efforts to tell those around us that we love them and cherish them. Whether spouse, child, parents, family, or friends, it's never a bad thing to be reminded to tell them just one more time that you love them.
In honor of Valentine's Day, I've listed some great quotes about love. The first poem was from our wedding. I still think there is a lot of truth to it now, having been with Doug for 15 years this month.

The Art of Marriage by Wilferd A. Peterson

A good marriage must be created. In the art of marriage
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.

It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.



Other great quotes about love:
Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction. -Saint-Exupery
To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu
We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh. -Agnes Repplier
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person. -W. Somerset Maugham
The course of true love never did run smooth. -William Shakespeare
I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron
Lord, grant that I might not seek to be loved as to love. -St. Francis of Assisi
They do not love that do not show their love. -William Shakespeare
"Pooh, if you lived to be one hundred and one days old," said Piglet; I want to live to be one hundred so I don't have to live one day without you." -A.A. Milne

In honor and in celebration of those I love. A heartfelt Happy Valentine's Day.

New Year’s Resolutions Update – End of January

Okay, here they are again along with the progress I’ve made (or not).

1. Start getting up earlier in the morning (ugh) to allow time for exercise and to make J a healthy breakfast. I was getting up earlier to exercise at least five days a week. I was making J’s breakfast every morning and, I’m proud to announce, he was no longer eating a Special K bar or Clifford organic cereal every single morning. (Now he eats those only when he actually wants them.) However, I’ve been sick for the last week and slipped, relying on Doug to take care of J’s breakfast and doing no exercise. I will get back into both of these habits this week despite still not feeling well.

2. Paint at least one room in my house (my bedroom, the guest bathroom, and/or the guest room/playroom) and hire someone to paint my kitchen. I took off work one day and painted the guest bathroom. It took longer than I thought (including a second coat that I put on in the middle of the night a few days after the first) but it is done and looks pretty great. Perhaps I’ll hire someone to do the rest though as it took a whole precious vacation day of which I don’t have many.

3. Make my front flowerbeds look presentable. Clearly been too cold but I do have high hopes for this one when it warms up a tad.

4. Lose some weight - any amount will do. No weight lost yet but I have been exercising. I am hoping that just means I’m putting on muscle and not just staying stagnant.

5. Spend more time with my friends. Game night, anyone? We’ve got lots of plans with friends already on the books for the next several months. This resolution is really just to continue that and be sure we don’t get lazy about seeing our friends. Sometimes it is easier to just stay home on that rare occasion that there is a free weekend, which is fine, as long as it doesn’t get to be a habit. I love to be alone but I hate to go months without seeing anyone also.

That was awful... or was it?

It is amazing how kids can change your outlook about a lot of things. I took J to see Alvin and the Chipmunks this weekend. It was truly awful, as I expected going into it. However, J has wanted to see this movie since he saw a preview for it about two months ago. Anytime he’d see a poster or an ad for it, he’d nearly burst with “I want to see that!” So, he paid his JBucks and off we went.

I found myself laughing at J laughing at the movie. Then I was actually following along with the movie and was a little annoyed when J said he needed to go to the potty for the second time since the movie started. We missed the singular plot twist in the movie, after all. I amazed myself at enjoying the movie because he was enjoying it so much. It is a wonderful feeling to realize that something you never thought you could enjoy becomes enjoyable by simply seeing it through the eyes of a child. This is one of the things I love most about being a mom.

JBucks

It seems like all who have children, and even some who don’t, are constantly willing to offer up their advice for parenting a child who is having trouble adjusting or exhibiting any sort of behavioral issues. I admit to taking a lot of this advice lately because I was at my wit’s end on how to deal with J’s hitting and angry outbursts. However, (knock on wood), it seems that a system of my own device has finally started to take hold of my little man.

We instituted a system of rewards and payments for good behavior and fun activities. I asked Doug to design money with J’s photo on it. Each of these JBucks can then be earned and spent. Each morning, there is the possibility of earning up to five JBucks based on good behavior. Each incident of trouble, back-talking, not minding, etc. will result in losing one JBuck. Teachers have also been given the authority to remove JBucks by leaving us a note in his daily folder. On the best day, at bedtime, he receives his five JBucks. On the worst day, he receives none. We have had days that fall everywhere on this scale. However, for the last few days, he has been doing great.

J loves his reward chart that lists everything he can “buy” with his JBucks – everything from one JBuck for an extra piece of candy or treat after dinner (since he thinks I am stingy for only allowing one) to fifteen JBucks for a trip to Chuck E. Cheese or a movie. He typically buys 30 minutes of video game time at three JBucks each though he has made one trip to Chuck E. Cheese and keeps talking about another.

I’ve decided that sometimes all of the books and websites and advice from others really is useless when it comes to your own child. You have to know your child’s motivations and desires to decide what is right for you and only you. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this continues to work and J will continue to thrive.

Play Nice

Yes, we are still having trouble with J hitting at school. We did get a note from the teacher this week that said J had three good days in a row and that he was acting a lot more social. This coming from the child who talks at home from morning’s first light until his eyes resist his fight against sleep in the evening. He was always very social at his old school so watching him play by himself and seclude himself at the new school was quite a shock. However, we’ve been encouraging him, talking to him about friendship, checking out every movie that revolves around this theme at the library, seeking out programs on friendship to TiVo, and it seems it is finally paying off just a little. Three good days in a row! Who knew a Mommy could be so proud over such a little note. It warranted a trip to “Pizza Planet” that very night.

However, it occurs to me that I don’t always want him to "play nice." I don’t mean that I want him to be a bully or that I want him to mistreat anyone else. Not even close. I do want him to take up for himself and defend himself when needed. I want him to maintain the independent streak he is showing so early. I want him to be a strong and secure individual throughout his life. That distinction isn’t really clear to a three-year-old so, for now, we just focus on “play nice.” I worry that this isn’t the best lesson to teach our kids though. Should we always play nice throughout our lives? In our careers? Even in all of our social situations? At what point do we tell our kids that isn't the best option for daily living?

While I want J to be friendly and outgoing and social, I also want him to get ahead in this world. I want him to learn early that people, if given the chance, will often take advantage of you. They will run over you and treat you like a doormat if you allow it. I want him to see that playing nice isn’t always feasible or advisable. I want him to know that practically no one will “play nice” in the business world. It is a dog eat dog world and you better be the first dog or sign up for a life of mediocrity and low pay. You have to be willing to sell yourself above the others in your work pool. You have to toot your own horn and toot it loudly sometimes. And, yes, sometimes you have to deal with lots of people who couldn’t define “nice” if they had to.

So, for now I’ll say “play nice” but when he calls me in twenty-five years and tells me he is competing for a big promotion, I’ll say, “Play fair” – which, of course, we all know isn’t always the same as playing nice. I’ll say, “Be honest” – which isn’t the same thing either. Very often, in fact, to be honest isn’t nice at all and you have to know when to be honest and when to keep your mouth shut. And I’ll say, “Be yourself” – even if that isn’t always nice at all. Better to be yourself and deal with the consequences than try to be someone or something else. There is little merit in the old business adage, “Fake it ‘til you make it.” Eventually, someone’s gonna find out!

Hmmm… all that rambling to say – social lessons for a three year old:

1. Play fair.
2. Be honest.
3. Be yourself.

Sounds about right.

Why I scrapbook

I think that many people view scrapbooking as an odd hobby. To document every move your child makes. To take pictures at parties and family reunions. Every seemingly insignificant event in your life alongside the most significant ones. For many, their scrapbooks are all about the art of the creation. For me, they are all about the stories behind the photos.

I recently found a quote that I think sums up my desire to scrapbook so simply. "When a person dies, a library is burned." - Edmund White

To me, that really said it all. When I am dead and gone (hopefully later rather than sooner), I want my precious son and hopefully his children and theirs, to know me. Not just have a faded picture of me stashed in a drawer somewhere with “Mom” scribbled on the back and a date… but to really know me. To know what I wanted out of life. To know what and who I loved. To even know what I didn’t like. I want my son to know that the sun rises and sets on him in my eyes. I want him to know that I loved his daddy with all my heart and soul. I want him to know that I respected and cherished my parents and my grandparents and my great grandmothers for the time I had them and missed the ones who are gone now.

I probably won’t have an estate to leave to J. I won’t have a huge bank account or a mansion sitting on rolling hills. I won’t have antique cars or precious jewels. But I can have a legacy. My scrapbooks of family photos and journaling can be my legacy. That's why I scrapbook.

Well, that and because it's fun!

New Year's Resolutions

As with most things in my life these days, I'm a few days late writing these down. I like making New Year's Resolutions though they aren't typically written down anywhere or even followed up on with any real regularity. I like the idea of starting over on January 1st. Put the bad habits behind me and make a fresh start. So, here are mine (in no particular order):

1. Start getting up earlier in the morning (ugh) to allow time for exercise and to make J a healthy breakfast.
2. Paint at least one room in my house (my bedroom, the guest bathroom, and/or the guest room/playroom) and hire someone to paint my kitchen.
3. Make my front flowerbeds look presentable.
4. Lose some weight - any amount will do.
5. Spend more time with my friends. Game night, anyone?

I think that is enough for now. Just following through with the first part of number one will be a challenge for me.

Funny Moments

Where does his little mind come up with these things?

J is still getting into trouble at school occasionally and just before Christmas he was having a particularly hard time behaving with all the chaos at school involving parties and Christmas program rehearsals. One morning Doug was reminding him that he needed to be good at school that day or he would be in trouble. J apparently thought this was a fairly stern warning as he looked up at his Daddy and asked, "With the police?" Doug told him he'd try to keep them out of it. Fortunately, we didn't have to report him to the police as he had a good day that day.

J has entered the WHY phase. He questions everything. One of my favorite recent questions he asked of Doug is, "Is God afraid of bad guys?" Additionally, he quizzed my dad for about ten minutes on the details of being a soldier. There was no pause to think about the answers he had been given before the next question was on the tip of his tongue. This is a snippet of that conversation.

J: Were you a soldier?
Dad: Yes.
J: Can I see a picture?
Dad: Sure. (shows him a Command photo from a few years ago)
J: Are you holding that flag?
Dad: No, it is behind me.
J: Where is your sword?
Dad: I didn't have a sword.
J: Did you have a gun?
Dad: Yes.
J: Did you have it in that picture?
Dad: No, I didn't have it with me that day.
J: Did you have it with you three days before that.
Dad: I don't remember. Probably not.
J: Did you ever kill anybody?
Dad: No.
J: Why not?
Dad: There are lots of different kinds of soldiers.
J: Can you show me how to march like a soldier?
Dad: Sure. And I'll show you how to salute also.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

My most-loved time of the year has now come and gone. I love the time between Christmas Eve and New Year's Day. I typically take this time off from work and spend it with my family and friends. This year was no different. Because of the dates, we ended up being off for eleven glorious (and busy) days.
Christmas at my house growing up was always an extravagant affair and this year was no different. It has never mattered how much the gift costs. It is all in the presentation. All gifts are wrapped separately so there is more under the tree. There is a lot of fanfare surrounding Christmas starting on Christmas Eve with our huge Christmas meal. All of my favorites from turkey and dressing to homemade cranberry sauce to sweet potato casserole are on the table. Mom and I are usually exhausted from getting it there but it is wonderful to enjoy it with our family.
Christmas Eve also means opening the first presents. Growing up I always received my Christmas pajamas and we've continued that tradition with J. He was decked out in red and green as is appropriate (and in two different pairs since both grandmas bought him some). He wore one pair to bed and the second pair when he got up!
Once the few presents are open and everyone has indulged in one too many treats that we managed to make while preparing the meal, we all settle back in a comfy chair while someone reads a Christmas story. Last year we read to J about Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus and this year it was Twas the Night Before Christmas. The point of this time is less about the story and more about a little quiet time together to settle down the little one.
J was very excited this year and just couldn't make himself go to sleep. It was nearly midnight when he finally dropped off. As a result, he didn't slow down to even see his toys the next morning. Instead he sped past them to check to see if Santa ate all the treats he left for him the night before. He was very concerned Santa was going to skip Grandma and Papa's house because he stayed up too late. Satisfied that Santa had gotten his fill, we finally talked him into checking out his swag.
Christmas morning always extends into the afternoon once the presents are passed out and opened. I got so wrapped up in watching J open his gifts this year that, when he was finished, I looked around and everyone else was finished as well. Everyone except me, that is. I jumped up to fix brunch - another of our Christmas traditions - and had to return to my pile of gifts after we ate to finish.
Mom and I always go shopping the day after Christmas. We have been known to have to empty the car then go back out again because we buy so much. It is our time. We are typically out for twelve or fifteen hours (or more). We shop a little, eat a little, laugh a lot. It's a good time for just the two of us to be together and connect.
I know I've said it before but I really love Christmas. It is one of the only times that we can be with our families with no other pressures. I love buying gifts for them. I love the big, over-the-top meals. I love the time.
I also love New Year's because we've started another tradition over the past few years of spending this time with some of our friends. Doug and I used to sit home every New Year's and watch the ball drop on TV. Before that I typically worked every New Year's Eve, uninterested in the reveling that was going on. However, since we started traveling to Birmingham every year, I find I really look forward to that weekend as a relaxing social time after the rush of the holidays. We always have our party on the weekend to accommodate those of us traveling from out of town but it is just as fun to pretend it is the real New Year's Eve. Although my family has tried to make plans for that weekend more than once, they are becoming accustomed to the fact that these plans are non-negotiable and learning to live with it. I typically put my family above all other plans but New Year's Eve weekend is taken.
So, I have to wait another year to see the lights, hear the music, and experience the wonder that is Christmas. Maybe I'll play O Holy Night just one more time.